Crap

...now browsing by tag

Poop Steak? Thanks, I’ll pass…

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

WARNING: This post is completely juvenile and contains a few 4 letter words and numerous poop jokes. This post has no redeeming qualities and should not be read by anyone. You have been warned.

So how hungry are you? What if you were REALLY HUNGRY?

Do you think you’d ever be hungry enough to eat at Turd Burger? Well thanks to some intrepid Japanese scientists now you can.

Yes, it is true.

From the same country that brought you Hello Kitty and Karaoke. Those wacky Japanese now give the world shit steak.

Read the full post ... (331 words, 2 images)

Posted in Fat Loss | No Responses »

It’s the Metabolism Stupid

Saturday, August 14th, 2010

Big article, sorry. I’ll use less words next time.

Too many trainees I see miss the forest for the trees. They are approaching their fat loss programs all wrong, and stagnating as a result. A big thanks goes to the mainstream media for all the crap advice on ”cardio” being best for fat loss, ,ore on that in a minute.

Assuming the goal is fat loss, then metabolic optimization should be our primary focus. Some of you might be shocked by my use of big words in that last sentence, so let me explain.

Read the full post ... (1134 words, 11 images)

Posted in Fat Loss | No Responses »

Don’t Miss Out

Thursday, May 13th, 2010

Hey gang,

I wrote yesterday to tell you about the incredible deal you can get on my 6 Week Body BELLY Transformations Program as my way of saying “THANK YOU” for reading my newsletter (which by the way comes out Saturday, with some awesome free stuff for you).

…And I wanted to make sure that you were able to read the email.

Until midnight on Friday (or until all the spots are taken) you can get my 6 Week Body BELLY Transformations Program for HALF OFF and get you ready for summer.

Read the full post ... (627 words, 3 images)

Posted in Fat Loss | No Responses »

Heart Warming News

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

Did you ever have one of those days where everything went wrong? From beginning to end, absolutely nothing went your way? Those days seem to occur all to frequently.

Well yesterday was the exact OPPOSITE of that.

But let me start at what SHOULD have been the beginning of Gabe’s operation ordeal, last Friday.

(NOTE: For those who missed the original posts, catch up by first reading Gabriel’s Heart, and then Put On Hold.)

Worst. Friday. Ever.

Read the full post ... (2317 words, 11 images)

Posted in Family Life | 24 Responses »

Time To Freak Out?

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

The August 17th 2009 cover of Time Magazine freaked a lot of people out.

Not, me. It takes more than a magazine cover to freak me out. Like a man I resisted the urge to freak, and decided to read the article.

But first I looked at the pictures….

Mmmm….. doughnuts…..

The title of the article is“ Why Exercise Won’t Make You Thin”, obviously meant to get people all riled up. And boy did it. Do a Google search and you will see a bevy of experts from trainers to doctors saying the article full of crap.

Read the full post ... (292 words, 4 images)

Posted in Fat Loss | No Responses »

How I ate ice cream, pizza, burger, fries, chips, pretzels, cookies, a McFlurry and a box of Life cereal and still lost 5 lbs this week.

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

Yes it’s true.

I ate all that crap. I cheated big time. And I’ll do it again.

Actually that’s pretty close…

All that junk food found its way down my pie hole and yet somehow I still lost 5 lbs this week.

How? Easy. It’s all in the timing.

I have a single cheat day: Saturday. I eat whatever I want, however much I want. When Sunday rolls around I am done with the binge buffet (kidding) and I’m back on the plan. It is really that simple.

Read the full post ... (188 words, 2 images)

Posted in Fat Loss | No Responses »

Does This Cold Make Me Look Fat?

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

A couple of weeks ago I was laid out with a nasty cold. We have previously established that being sick turns me into a miserable ass – so I am a joy to be around.

Looks about how I felt

One of the worst parts about being sick for me is the fact that the only time I feel un-craptastic is when I am eating. So I tend to over eat. Ah who am I kidding – there’s no tend about it – I overeat.

Read the full post ... (426 words, 3 images)

Posted in Fat Loss | No Responses »

Happy Thanksgiving: "F" Moderation

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

That’s right, I said it: "F" moderation.

This year as I visit my brother and his family in El Dorado Hills Ca, (outside of Sacramento) I was thinking of the article I would write: eat protein first, load up on veggies and go sparingly on the desserts.

F that.

Not this year.

This year has been a serious crap fest for a lot of people out there. There is enough for people to worry about without having to worry about what to (or not to) eat this Thanksgiving Holiday.

Read the full post ... (415 words, 3 images)

Posted in Fat Loss | 2 Responses »

Operation: Old School

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

9 Volunteers Needed: No School like the Old School.
(open to both local residents and online clients)

I am sick to death of these wussy ass ab exercising and programs I have been seeing all over the place.

The new wave of poofy crunches here, fluffy flutters there. They’re all crap. None of them do a damn thing to lean out your midsection and create a set of bad ass abs.

To that end I am beta testing a brand new ab / fat loss program called

“Operation: Old School.”

He’s definitely Old School

Read the full post ... (480 words, 4 images)

Posted in Fat Loss | No Responses »

In the Line of Fire

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

IMPORTANT: To those of my friends and neighbors who have been evacuated, if you need a place to sleep and stay until this fire is contained, I will make my gym available. It is not much, but just call me at 818-337-6175 and it will be done.

________________________________

Yesterday (10/13/08) California caught on fire. Well not all of it, but parts I really care about, like where I live and where my gym is.

Read the full post ... (570 words, 2 images)

Posted in Fat Loss | 1 Response »

First Name
Email